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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28168689">i wish i may, i wish i might</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iris_Duncan_72/pseuds/Iris_Duncan_72'>Iris_Duncan_72</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Wishes, YouTuber Yang Jeongin | I.N, sometimes the universe grants them!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:19:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,700</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28168689</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iris_Duncan_72/pseuds/Iris_Duncan_72</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>With Hyunjin away on holiday, Jeongin is prepared for a nice, quiet week.</p><p>The universe, however, has other plans.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Han Jisung | Han/Yang Jeongin | I.N</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>138</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>A thousand memories and a million more to come</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i wish i may, i wish i might</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">



        <li>In response to a prompt by
            Anonymous in the <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SKZMemories">SKZMemories</a>
          collection.
        </li>
    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i have never written for this pairing before but i had fun with it! even if the story refused to stop when it was told to, but that's par for the course, no?</p><p>HUGE props to julia for organising this whole event! im very proud of her &lt;333</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘Are you sure you’ll be okay by yourself?  What if you get lonely?  What if someone tries to break in?  What if –’</p><p>Jeongin slapped a hand over Hyunjin’s mouth, wincing internally at the feeling of freshly applied lip balm on his skin.  ‘Hyung, we’ve been over this at least ten times this week.  Calm down.  If I get lonely, I’ll go hang out with Felix-hyung, and if someone tries to break in, I’ll call the cops, okay?’</p><p>Batting away the surprise muzzle with an indignant huff, Hyunjin turned his huge doe eyes on Jeongin again and protested, ‘But you might have another nightmare and Felix won’t be –’</p><p>‘Oh my <em>god,</em> that was <em>one time</em>, hyung,’ Jeongin groaned, flushing.  ‘Would you just go already?  The train isn’t going to wait forever.’</p><p>Indeed, the flurry of movement at the doors of the KTX train had lessened, most people having boarded.  A glance at the massive electronic timetable hanging overhead revealed that there was less than two minutes before it was scheduled to depart and if Hyunjin didn’t take this one, it’d be an hour till the next one arrived and then he’d miss the ferry to Jeju at the other end.  So when it looked like Hyunjin might argue, Jeongin sighed, grabbed one strap of the heavy duffel bag in Hyunjin’s hand, and physically towed him towards the train.  Jeongin permitted a quick final hug at the edge of the platform, then shoved Hyunjin inside the carriage.</p><p>‘I’ll be fine, hyung, try to quit worrying or Chan-hyung will think you don’t like him,’ Jeongin called, backing away from the doors.  ‘See you in a week!’</p><p>Hyunjin scowled, but grudgingly waved goodbye and turned away to hunt down a seat.  The doors slid shut thirty seconds later and then the train was gone.  Jeongin secured his mask a little higher over his nose, jammed his hands in his pockets, and made for the exit.</p><p>With a grimness that would’ve impressed battle-hardened soldiers, he thought to himself, <em>One nuisance down, one to go.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Jeongin got back to his and Hyunjin’s apartment, he didn’t go in right away.  Instead, he stared at the door for several minutes like it was a complex puzzle he couldn’t solve.  Or a dreaded foe.  It was neither, of course, but what was <em>behind</em> it...</p><p>Unfortunately, he couldn’t just stand there all day.  Not least because he had a video to finish editing and a kitchen to clean, but also the longer Jeongin stood here, the higher the risk was that one of his neighbours would see him and ask if something was wrong.  That wasn’t really a question he wanted to answer right now and quite frankly, he might scream if someone put it to him.</p><p>His expression no doubt a picture of utmost resignation, Jeongin typed in the lock’s code and entered the apartment as quietly as possible, holding his breath as he very carefully shut the door behind himself.  The silence went undisturbed and he exhaled in relief, bending down to unlace his trainers and place them on the shoe rack.  Hyunjin might be content with simply kicking <em>his</em> to one side of the entryway but –</p><p>‘You’re back!’</p><p>
  <em>Dammit.</em>
</p><p>Reluctantly, Jeongin straightened up and turned to face the man who’d skidded into the hallway.  He looked just as Jeongin had left him – much too small for Hyunjin’s old clothes, ridiculously overexcited, and generally very nuisance-shaped.  Only his shining gold eyes and ridiculously mussed sun-bleached hair marked him as anything other than a garden-variety annoyance.</p><p>‘Yes, Jisung-ssi, I told you I would be,’ Jeongin grumbled, striding down the short hall to his room.  ‘It’s only my <em>home</em>, you know.’</p><p>Jisung trailed after him, whining like an unloved pet, though to Jeongin’s relief he didn’t stray beyond the bedroom’s doorway.</p><p>‘Did you think about what I said?’ Jisung asked, egregiously hopeful.</p><p>Pausing in the act of putting away his wallet and jacket, his back to the door, Jeongin sighed heavily.  How was this his life?  <em>Why</em> was this his life?  Which ancestor had he pissed off to the extent that they’d felt compelled to place this latest and most impossible obstacle in his path?  He supposed he should be thankful that he’d managed to keep Jisung from Hyunjin’s attention for the last six hours before Hyunjin had been shuttled off to Jeju.</p><p>‘Yes, I’ve thought about it,’ Jeongin conceded, because he kept his promises, even if this one had been made under duress.</p><p>‘And?  What did you decide?’</p><p>Jeongin was very aware that should he dare turn around, he’d lose this battle immediately.  Unfortunately, the lure of those bright gold eyes was not one he was strong enough to resist.</p><p>‘A week.  You can –’ he swallowed, barely able to believe the words leaving his mouth – ‘you can stay for a week.  That’s your time to convince me.’</p><p>Jisung’s eyes went wide and he whooped, jumping in celebration – and hanging in the air for a solid second longer than was physically, humanly possible.  Jeongin quickly turned away.</p><p>‘Thank you, thank you,’ Jisung gushed.  ‘I promise I’ll follow all your rules for your home, Jeongin.  Holy stars, <em>thank</em> you.  You don’t know how awful it would’ve been if I’d had to have gone back so soon.’  An audible wince.</p><p>Resisting the urge to scrub his hands over his face, Jeongin made for the exit and obligingly took the bait as Jisung danced out of his way.  ‘Why would it have been awful?’</p><p>‘Oh, stars don’t usually fail, you know,’ Jisung explained, following Jeongin into the living area-slash-kitchen.   ‘And I haven’t even been here a whole <em>day</em>.  No-one would take me seriously ever again if my human – I mean, if, um, you had cancelled the contract this fast.’</p><p>Jeongin froze with his hand halfway to the kettle.  <em>Stars.  My human</em>.  Dammit.  He’d been doing great at not thinking about Jisung’s decidedly <em>in</em>human status for the past ten minutes.  But then, he’d already made the decision to let Jisung hang around for the week Hyunjin was gone, which meant Jeongin was definitely going to have to confront that reality.  At least he’d gotten all the shrieking out the way this morning (muffled with a pillow, naturally).</p><p>Flicking on the kettle and spinning around on one socked heel to lean against the counter and pin Jisung with a wary look, Jeongin asked, ‘So, what exactly <em>are</em> the details of this contract I supposedly made with you?’</p><p>Shoulders squaring and hands clasped behind himself like he was giving a presentation, Jisung said, ‘Eight months ago, you asked the universe to give you someone who would protect and cherish your heart –’</p><p>Jeongin squeaked and flushed bright red, slapping his hands over his face, regardless of his earlier resolve.  ‘That was a completely <em>rhetorical</em> request,’ he mumbled, ‘made in a moment of weakness.’  A moment he’d been perfectly entitled to, thank you very much, what with his boyfriend at the time having dumped him rather abruptly.</p><p>Jisung smiled, an odd combination of amusement and indulgence.  ‘Well, that was when you opened the contract and you never actually rescinded it.  Rhetorical or not, humans – people, I mean, usually withdraw the contract within about six months, for one reason or another.  But you didn’t.’  He rocked on his heels, looking far too pleased with himself.  ‘So here I am, ready and willing to protect and cherish the heart of one Yang Jeongin.’</p><p>‘This is <em>so</em> ridiculous...’  Jeongin started hunting down a chamomile teabag, a mug, and the honey pot to give himself a reason to turn away from those sparkling gold eyes.  ‘You don’t know me and I don’t know you.  How can you expect me to just – just <em>give</em> you my heart?’  He cringed at the cheesy words.  ‘Real life doesn’t work like that.’</p><p>‘I’m a little rusty on modern rites of courtship and the social mores surrounding such things,’ Jisung admitted.  ‘It didn’t really occur to me that there might be a problem until you slammed the door in my face.’</p><p>As he poured boiling water into his chosen mug (hand-painted sunflowers on a white background), Jeongin privately thought he really should have left that door shut.  Unfortunately, with Hyunjin only out for a brief errand at the time and their neighbours being entirely too nosy for Jeongin’s own good, the pressure had gotten to him (never mind those huge shining eyes which had stabbed Jeongin right in his little gay heart) and he’d hauled Jisung inside.</p><p>So why hadn’t he thrown Jisung out upon arriving back at the apartment after seeing Hyunjin off?  Official sources, i.e. the propaganda machine in Jeongin’s mind, pointed to the irrefutable evidence that Jisung was, in fact, <em>not</em> human and therefore should not be kicked out immediately for fear of divine or ancestral retribution.  However, the much sneakier unofficial sources, namely Jeongin’s soft and squishy heart, were muttering words like <em>loneliness</em> and <em>hope</em>.  Jeongin was doing his best to drown out those traitorous whispers, though only with moderate success.</p><p>‘Amazing,’ he muttered, stirring a teaspoon of honey into his drink.  ‘You’re lucky I didn’t call security, Jisung-ssi.’</p><p>‘I’d have hidden until they left,’ was the insouciant reply.  ‘And can we drop the formality?  Please?  I’m not clueless, alright, I know <em>ssi</em> isn’t for... uh.’</p><p>‘Friends,’ Jeongin said hastily.  ‘It’s not for friends.  Fine, fine.  If anything even makes sense anymore, you’re probably a literal million years older than me.  I’ll call you Jisung-hyung.’</p><p>Jisung perked up.  ‘Okay.’  Then he pointed at the tea and said, ‘That smells good.  Can I have some?’</p><p>Jeongin sagged in defeat against the counter.  This was shaping up to be a long week and they were only at Monday.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Indeed, Jeongin’s supposition was correct.</p><p>The kitchen, which he’d planned to clean that day, didn’t get finished till mid-afternoon, not least thanks to Jisung’s persistent efforts to get into every single nook and cranny he could fit in and plenty more that he couldn’t.  In the wake of the third time Jeongin dropped his spray bottle after being startled by a cheery Jisung crawling out of some kitchen cupboard that he <em>shouldn’t physically be able to get into</em>, the gold-eyed star was banished to the living area.  Jisung puffed out his cheeks and was enormously pouty for a while before going suspiciously quiet for long enough that Jeongin hurled his rubber gloves into the sink and hunted him down.  To his complete surprise, Jisung was sitting on the bathroom floor, painting his nails with a bottle of Hyunjin’s polish.</p><p>‘Look, they match my eyes!’ Jisung declared proudly, wiggling the fingers of one small hand up at Jeongin, who stood unmoving in the doorway.</p><p>Actually, the dull golden sheen on Jisung’s nails came in poor second to his glittering eyes, but Jeongin would rather eat beans for breakfast, lunch, and dinner before saying that out loud.  So he left Jisung to it and went back to his cleaning.</p><p>As for the video, well, Jeongin didn’t even start the editing until after dinner, when Jisung had been settled in Hyunjin’s room under strict orders not to fiddle with anything.  Fortunately, it was a singing one, not a cooking one, so at least he was done by midnight as opposed to, say, three in the morning.  Needless to mention, Jeongin was very relieved to finally crash into his bed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tuesday dawned bright and early and Jeongin almost forgot about his unwanted house guest until halfway through breakfast, when Jisung walked out of Hyunjin’s room (there was nowhere else for him to sleep, okay, Jeongin would change the sheets before Hyunjin got back) and declared that the apartment block’s roof was terrible for moon-bathing.</p><p>‘I couldn’t even <em>see</em> the moon!’ Jisung declared, looking so appalled that Jeongin spent the next fifteen minutes telling him about light pollution instead of demanding to know how the <em>hell</em> Jisung gotten up there last night.</p><p>Jeongin’s morning schedule consisted of uploading his new song cover to YouTube and practising the next one, which happened to be one he himself had written.  It wasn’t the first time he’d done such a thing, but it never seemed to get any less nerve-wracking.</p><p>Of course, that schedule had been arranged pre-Jisung.</p><p>‘What are you doing today?’ the man – no, the <em>star</em> in question asked after Jeongin emerged from the shower, his hair still wet because he didn’t trust Jisung alone for that long.</p><p>It seemed that the need for hygiene was a mortal invention and while Jisung definitely <em>looked</em> human right now, apparently his body didn’t “do that stuff.”  As he looked no more or less vibrant and tousled than yesterday and he didn’t smell bad, Jeongin was willing to chalk that up to celestial-slash-divine-slash-ancestral mysteriousness.</p><p>‘Singing,’ Jeongin tossed over his shoulder, as he made his way to the single spare room in the apartment, which he and Hyunjin had dubbed the YouTube Room.  It was where Jeongin recorded his songs, held his livestreams, and they both edited.  Not ideal, but workable.  ‘I’m recording this song on Sunday so I need to practise.’</p><p>‘Ooh, I’ve heard that word before.  Recording,’ Jisung mused, trailing behind Jeongin into the room and peering at the equipment.  ‘Isn’t that something people do for that weird invention you all came up with a while ago?’</p><p>Jeongin’s brain hurt just wading through that sentence.  ‘I’m sorry, what?’</p><p>‘The internet!  That’s what it’s called!’ Jisung crowed, clapping his hands in triumph.  ‘Do you use the internet, Jeongin?’</p><p>‘The internet is not a <em>weird invention</em>,’ Jeongin protested.  ‘And yeah, hyung, I use it.  Pretty much everyone my age uses it.’</p><p>‘It doesn’t seem to physically exist and yet it is accessible through these strange screens you have,’ Jisung countered, tapping one gold-tipped finger against the edge of a sleeping monitor on the desk.  ‘It is certainly one of the weirdest inventions <em>I’ve</em> ever seen.’</p><p>Mindful of how easy it would be to get sucked into an endless conversation about the oddities of humankind, Jeongin decided to let this one slide and focused on setting up the recording gear.  When he was ready to start, he shooed Jisung out of the room, supremely uninterested in having a starry-eyed audience (pun <em>not</em> intended), only for Jisung to start pouting again.  After three years of living with Hyunjin, Jeongin was long-since inured to such tactics but Jisung, unfortunately, had an advantage – Jeongin absolutely did <em>not</em> trust him to suitably entertain himself unsupervised for three hours.</p><p>Gritting his teeth, Jeongin pointed to a corner of the room that would be out of his line of sight.  <em>‘Fine.</em>  Sit there, don’t touch anything, don’t make any noise.  Hyung,’ he added belatedly.</p><p>‘I’ll be good, I promise,’ Jisung said earnestly, eyes shining so bright as he reached out to briefly touch his fingertips to Jeongin’s arm.  ‘I told you I’d listen to your rules, right?  I just want to hear you.’</p><p>Jeongin swallowed thickly and nodded, momentarily unable to speak.</p><p>Unsurprisingly, it took him a little longer than usual to find his singing groove but eventually his voice was warmed up and Jeongin sang his way through the poignant song he’d started working on a month or so ago.  It had a slow, lilting tune, the vibe very much one of rain against the windows and cups of coffee gone cold.  He was proud of it but he knew he was being hampered somewhat by his self-consciousness, the weight of Jisung’s attention tangible.</p><p>Without turning away from the microphone when the final words had melted away, Jeongin cleared his throat and forced himself to speak into the heavy quiet.  ‘It’s not brilliant or anything but –’</p><p>‘You have a beautiful voice.’  No playful humour now, only a soft-edged sincerity.</p><p>The back of Jeongin’s neck flushed with heat and he felt his ears heating.  ‘Oh.  Um.  Thanks, I guess.  I’m, uh, I’m gonna go again now.’</p><p>Jisung said nothing more so Jeongin inhaled slow and deep, and then he sang.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That afternoon, Jeongin showed Jisung how to play video games.  Jeongin had a charity livestream coming up on Saturday, during which he planned to conquer his latest obsession and <em>finally</em> get a damn gold crown in Fall Guys.  His modest channel wasn’t a gaming one but that was his go-to activity for livestreams.  Much easier than singing or baking for hours on end, after all.  However, as he’d only made it about half a dozen times to the final round so far, Jeongin clearly needed to practise and what better excuse to spend eight hours glued to his computer than the fact that Jisung had no idea how to even use a keyboard?  Not that Jeongin really <em>needed</em> an excuse, but his conscience felt better with one.</p><p>That all changed when, three hours in, Jisung won his first crown.</p><p>‘How did you do that?’ Jeongin demanded, fingers twitching on the keys in indignant outrage as he stared in disbelief at Jisung’s screen.</p><p>Jisung’s smile was beatific, his celebratory spin of Hyunjin’s office chair lazy.  ‘It was easy.  I just stayed on the tiles longer than anyone else.’</p><p>‘But – but you’ve only been playing for a couple of <em>hours,’</em> Jeongin spluttered.</p><p>An innocent shrug, the collar of Hyunjin’s huge white t-shirt slipping down to reveal the curve of Jisung’s honey-brown shoulder.  ‘It’s fun and it seemed important to you so I –’</p><p>Disgruntled irritation forgotten, Jeongin interrupted, ‘Wait, what?’</p><p>Jisung blinked at him, mouth curved in a faint, unreadable smile. ‘The point of the game is to win the crown, right?  You were very sure about that.’</p><p>‘Yeah, but why – I mean, what’s that got to do with <em>me?’</em></p><p>The smile broadened slightly.  ‘I think you mean, what <em>doesn’t</em> have to do with you?’</p><p>An odd, uncomfortable feeling curled to life in Jeongin’s gut, leaving him feeling wrong-footed, like he’d missed a step or two going downstairs.  Perhaps it was because Jisung had been behaving very human-like today and Jeongin had simply allowed himself to believe that lie, even if only for a few hours.  He’d actually been having fun playing with Jisung, teaching him tips and half-baked strategies.  Jisung could’ve been any of Jeongin’s friends, not a divine emissary sent to fulfil a ridiculous wish he’d made one cold night months ago.  Now, the illusion ripped from his eyes by Jisung’s casual reminder, Jeongin felt himself withdrawing like a small animal wary of a potential trap.</p><p>‘Don’t you hate this?’ he asked tightly, staring into butter-gold eyes.  ‘You were sent here because of something I said, contractually obliged to try and let me let <em>you</em> care for me.’  It was strangely easy to be honest in the hushed security of the apartment.  ‘I’d... I’d definitely hate you if our positions were reversed, hyung.’</p><p>Jisung laughed quietly, just a couple of soft exhalations.  ‘You think I don’t want to be here, Jeongin?  That I haven’t been checking in on you on and off as soon as your wish came to me?  I know this all seems very sudden and unexpected for you, but I can assure you that it isn’t for me.’  He tucked his legs up under him, the too-large clothes making him appear even smaller, bar the shock of wild blond hair.  ‘I’m not here because I <em>have</em> to do anything.  I’m here because I <em>want</em> to be.’  Reaching out, he brushed his fingertips over the back of Jeongin’s hand with the same fleeting gentleness he’d done that morning.  ‘But that doesn’t have to mean anything, not if you don’t want it to.  So don’t worry about it, okay?’</p><p>Flashing a heart-shaped smile, Jisung started the next game and, stunned into silence, Jeongin had no choice but to return his attention to the screen before him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The rest of the week passed surprisingly, if not entirely, smoothly.</p><p>Wednesday was food shopping day, which meant Jeongin had to drag Jisung around in public and hope he didn’t start levitating randomly.  Fortunately, no such incidents occurred, although <em>someone</em> snuck a packet of dried apricots and two boxes of strawberry Pepero into the cart and through the checkout without Jeongin noticing.  He casually opened them that evening and offered some to Jisung, who was apparently attempting to become the world champion of Fall Guys, and who accepted the treats with the same enthusiasm Jeongin usually did.</p><p>Thursday rolled around and Jeongin set up in the kitchen for a morning of filming, much to Jisung’s interest.  This week’s recipe was tri-coloured Japanese <em>dango</em>, with green tea paste and red food colouring used to achieve the intended effect.  Unfortunately, Jeongin’s instruction that Jisung must remain quiet and out of sight of the cameras was apparently not specific enough to keep him out of the kitchen.  Jeongin imagined it was more than likely that his neighbours heard the screech he let out when upon feeling a prickling awareness drawl over his skin, he glanced up and saw Jisung sitting cross-legged on the ceiling, his head mere inches above Jeongin’s.  Rice flour went everywhere and Jeongin landed on his elbows as he tripped backwards over his feet, swearing violently.  The resulting mess took a while to sort out, his shot nerves even longer, and it was past lunchtime by the time the video was finally finished.  Jisung had swiftly disappeared and stayed gone for the rest of the day, proving he had some measure of self-preservation, but when Jeongin went to bed that night, he found a fresh sunflower standing on his bedside table in the handmade glazed ceramic vase Felix had gifted him last Chuseok.  The seething knot of irritation stuck behind Jeongin’s sternum loosened and, when the flower seemed to glow faintly in the dark, he found himself turning to face it instead of away.</p><p>Friday was a quieter day.  Jeongin spent much of it editing and ensuring everything was ready for his livestream, while Jisung remained conspicuously out of his way.  On the one hand, it was a relief to simply be able to <em>focus</em> and not have to worry about keeping the gold-eyed menace suitably occupied, but no matter how much Jeongin did his best to be satisfied with that, he couldn’t quite smother the little voice whispering in the back of his mind, dragging his attention from his work.  Eventually, however, the day was done, everything set for the following morning, and when Jisung tentatively joined him for <em>dango</em> and video games before bed, Jeongin patted the couch next to him and they played wordlessly late into the night.</p><p>Then came Saturday.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mid-morning found Jeongin six rounds deep into his live Fall Guys marathon, when he suddenly stopped, fingers going still on his keyboard.  Predictably, he was punted off the edge of the neon green platform his character stood on a moment later, tumbling to his miserable fate of drowning in pink goo.  Messages of support and good-natured laughter sped by in the chat window, quickly growing confused as Jeongin showed no sign of life.</p><p>After a solid minute of contemplation (read: internal warfare), he finally decided <em>fuck it</em>, shoved his headphones down around his neck, spun his chair around, and yelled, ‘Jisung-hyung!’</p><p>Behind him on the desk, Jeongin’s muted phone lit up with a message from Hyunjin, asking if he was okay or if his internet connection had given up, because of course he was watching the livestream.  Jeongin, attention fixed firmly on the closed door to his room, did not see it.</p><p>The quiet padding of bare feet could be heard a moment before the handle turned and Jisung poked his head around the door.  His hair looked like someone had taken both a dryer and a vacuum cleaner to it at once and his eyes were their usual shining gold, but his expression remained apprehensive.  The overflow of energetic eagerness that Jeongin had become accustomed to seeing was carefully tucked away, as evidenced by the fact that he hadn’t dived into the room headfirst.  Instead, Jisung let only his gold-tipped fingers curl around the door.</p><p>‘Yes?’ he asked.</p><p>The vibrant thread of hope in his voice just about killed Jeongin, his ridiculous heart stuttering behind his ribs.  He swallowed thickly, digging his fingers into the leather-synth armrests of his chair.</p><p>‘Come here.’</p><p>Fuck voice cracks, honestly.  Jeongin’s face promptly flushed with heat but he felt a shiver of nervous relief when Jisung did as he was told, creeping into the room and pattering on quick feet over to Jeongin, wringing his hands.  He looked like he thought Jeongin might be about to actually throw him out.</p><p>‘Yes?’ Jisung repeated.</p><p>Jeongin thought about the luminous sunflower sitting in his bedroom.  He thought about delicate, fluttering hands and being the subject of the unmitigated interest in eyes like ancient coins.  He thought about a heart-shaped smile and an idiot pouting upside down on the ceiling.</p><p>‘I decided,’ Jeongin said as calmly as he could with his heart attempting to exit via his throat.</p><p>Jisung gulped, his eyes wide.  ‘Tell me.’</p><p>Hardly able to believe what he was doing, Jeongin unclamped a hand from his armrest and slowly reached out to twine his fingertips with Jisung’s, tugging their loosely linked hands down to his chest.  Jisung willingly followed the gentle suggestion, stepping in closer.</p><p>‘I decided okay,’ Jeongin mumbled.  His face was red as an overripe tomato now, he was sure of it.  ‘Maybe you’re not so bad.  I mean, this has been the weirdest, most stressful week of my life but, um.  Maybe I want you to stay.  With, uh, with me.’</p><p>If he was an old-fashioned kettle, his whistle would be screeching like the souls of the damned by this point.</p><p>Immediately, Jisung’s entire countenance changed, shoulders relaxing and expression brightening like someone had switched on the lights inside him.  Hell, he was practically vibrating in place and Jeongin squinted against the palpable force of his enthusiasm.</p><p>‘Really?’ Jisung breathed, tightening his grip on Jeongin’s hand.  ‘I can stay?  You <em>want</em> me to stay.  You trust me to care for you.’</p><p>Jeongin had to avert his gaze lest his retinas be seared away.  He cleared his throat pointlessly (the sticky emotion clinging there would not be so easily removed) and managed a slightly winded, ‘Yeah.  Yeah, really.’</p><p>He peeked up at Jisung from under the veil of his lashes, which turned out to be a fatal mistake because Jisung was still staring at him, wide-eyed and trembling with excitement.  Literally.  Jeongin could feel Jisung’s hand shaking in his.</p><p>‘Okay.  Okay.  I’m – okay.’</p><p>Jisung didn’t exactly sound okay.  He looked like he was having a thousand thoughts all at once and couldn’t decide which one to act on.  Jeongin was slightly concerned Jisung was going to start hyperventilating if he wasn’t firmly steered away from such territory.</p><p>So Jeongin opened his big dumb mouth and out rolled, ‘Can I kiss you?’</p><p>A very loud squeak followed the question and it was impossible to tell which of them it came from.</p><p>‘Yes,’ Jisung whispered, shuffling nearer still.  ‘You can – you can totally do that.’</p><p>‘Great,’ Jeongin croaked past the giant frog which had taken up residence somewhere around his tonsils.</p><p>He strained upwards at the same time that Jisung leaned down and they met in the middle, all sweaty palms and thundering hearts and soft lips.  Jeongin’s free hand found its way to the back of Jisung’s head, twining with the wild strands, not pulling or tugging, simply holding, and he felt a rush of smug delight when Jisung’s breath audibly hitched as Jeongin’s thumb brushed his ear.  They separated for air a moment later but the gold of Jisung’s eyes was as molten as Jeongin’s insides felt, and then they were kissing once more, a little messy, a little awkward given the angle, but so warm and sweet that Jeongin really didn’t want to stop ever again.</p><p>Behind him, Jeongin’s phone lit up with message after furious message from a simultaneously outraged and gobsmacked Hyunjin and the chat window blurred with the text-based screeching of his viewers.</p><p>Had he forgotten he was still livestreaming?  Possibly.</p><p>Was he going to be deeply embarrassed when he remembered?  Highly likely.</p><p>But that was a problem for future Jeongin.  Present Jeongin was very busy right now.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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